This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
