Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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