Where did you get a picture of my penis
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm having to shit out rocks
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