i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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