You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
