I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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