Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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