Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
