Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
