Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
