It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
