Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
