like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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