I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
