Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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