Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
