Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize