Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
