I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
