Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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