they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize