he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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