woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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