He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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