matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
