I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
