Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
