So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
