why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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