I bet he comes in French.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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