One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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