Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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