I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
