i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
