This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize