I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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