In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
