just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i barfeds in our rink
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize