Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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