It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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