It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My liver just broke up with me...
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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