He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
