Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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