Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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