I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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