apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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