im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize