just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My feet surprised me
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