he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
