R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
