She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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