I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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