We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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