I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cockslap morals
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
