I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
