Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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