whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
