My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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