Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
