my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
